One of the things I mess up regularly in Hungary is avoiding being That Obnoxious Foreigner. As in, I walk around the streets of Budapest, speaking English loudly without censoring myself or lowering my voice, because, hey, I'm in fuckin' Hungary! Nobody understands me anyway, right!?!?!
Well, one of my favorite things is overhearing other English-speaking foreigners make the same mistake, and listening in on their conversations. Creepy? Maybe. Hilarious? Always. Take tonight, for example, as I was walking from Deak ter to the Bazilika, trying to make myself as unobtrusive and un-attackable as possible, seeing as it was after midnight. On the other side of the cobblestone promenade walked three young men (of mediocre to passable looks, in case you were wondering, and you were, so don't even pretend), talking loudly in what could only be the dear Queen's own English. My ears perked up, as they always do at this comforting sound, and I began to listen in on their conversation, which was quite loud (they probably thought they were alone, and were probably quite trashed). I caught only snippets, but it went along the following lines:
"Yeah then she showed me her something something."
Guffawing approval from friend.
"Then she made me touch her stomach something something, and said 'can you believe
I've had three kids?'"
Exclamatory phrase by other friend.
"In the end, though, I only paid 15 for the whole thing, and she only gave me [censored]."
This was followed by the second friend recounting a similar, more expensive rendezvous, with what I could only hope, for his sake, a more satisfactory set of results.
At this point, one of them looked over, and saw me walking across the street, dragging my dropped jaw behind me. They then quickly lowered their voices, snickering their English snickers, which are much more refined than American snickers don't you know (even though they use Women of the Night, just like any red-blooded man).
I was mostly just a)impressed at the woman's sass and b)hoping that the man usually used protection when obtaining, er, services.
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